Surgery: the aftermath

I remember nothing. I look up and I am being wheeled into an elevator. My body hurts. The nurse asks me my pain number but I cannot answer because I am gagging and my stomach is rolling. I am vomiting but nothing is coming up. Over and over my stomach lurches. The nurse tells me not to worry, we are almost there but I am still dry heaving. Each time I heave it feels as though I am ripping open my stomach.

I feel a sense of warmth and realize that not only am I dry heaving but I have lost control of my bladder so each time I vomit I also urinate. Okay, so they told me they were going to catheterize me during the surgery. If this is true then why the hell did they pump me full of saline and then remove the cath before i woke up?? Especially considering my history of violent vomiting with anesthesia. I was so mad and frustrated. I mean really, who wants to pee all over themselves when it is nearly impossible to clean up by yourself? We get to my room and as the nurse is adjusting my bed and clipping it into the frame, I look at her with mortification and explain that on the ride up I wet myself...EVERYWHERE!

The nurse is so sweet. She peels off my yellow stained thigh high leg wraps, helps me to the bathroom and then proceeds to take a washcloth and clean me up in the areas I cannot reach. She hangs a fresh gown up and leaves me alone to finish my business. As i sit down on the toilet the first thing I notice is the feeling of razor blades as I pee. I ask the nurse if this is normal and she says yes, this is a side affect of a cath. Oh yay!

By this time my parents and Jeremy had arrived in the room. All i remember is how much i hurt and wishing to God I had not done this. My pain number...a resounding 9. They shoot me with more morphine. Still a 9. More and it goes down to a 7. Phew, its manageable now. I can open my eyes. I am so fricking thirsty but I am not allowed anything to drink. Every fiber of my being hurts and the pain meds only take the edge off. I look at Jeremy and tell him that I shouldn't have done this. He tells me not to judge within an hour of surgery, that it's not a fair time for judgment. I laugh, and it hurts.