I have a terrible headache. It's just one of those days where I feel overwhelmed. My house isn't pristine, I can't find my sunglasses, and above all I haven't slept good for over a week. I had to stop taking anti-inflammatory drugs a week ago and I so rely on them to help me sleep through my aches and pains. Tylenol is not cutting it.
I have laundry to do and I haven't shopped for this week yet...well, normally I shop on Mondays so I will go later. And the thing is...I know so much of this panic mode has to do with the fact I am having my gall bladder removed on Wednesday morning. I am concerned about getting everything done before my mom gets here. She is coming for the week to take care of me and I don't want her to feel like she has to take care of my house and laundry etc. I have planned meals through Wednesday so she will only need to cook Thursday...arrrgh.
It is just one of those days where it seems there is not enough time in the day. last night I freaked out at 1am because I was obsessing about my sunglasses...and then i unloaded on Jeremy because he squashed things together on the counter to make my new slow cooker fit...and i HATE clutter and I can't stand things feeling small and tight...again...It is just one of THOSE days.
And through this all I am supposed to be working through financial peace and having my life more organized. And right now I am just venting. I have too many things and not enough space. I continuously have to juggle things into boxes and what not...I want a bigger house but I am trying to be content with where I am. What is contentment? Truly...does anyone ever really achieve contentedness?? Besides the Duggar mom of 18 kids...who always looks like she's happy with no cares in the world.
How can i love The Lord so much but yet still struggle so badly with stress and anxiety and obsessive compulsions? Isn't putting my faith and trust in God supposed to alleviate these things? Can they walk hand in hand? I certainly hope so because if they can't....then I am just outta luck!
Monday, February 23, 2009
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1 comment:
Thanks for being human! I love you warts and all!
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